Unicorns of the Vale

So, just a random story I made up while sitting in class the other day. It involves my Character Loki (who is currently still a foal) Ka who is a developing character of mine and Kachine an up and coming character of Alcyone's. Basically a bit of Loki's life... some of which might even happen on day. Who knows? lol

The Long grasses of the fertile plain rolled by as Loki’s smooth strides swallowed the ground. Kachine, his beloved, his kindred spirit, his mare, was in foal - so he had head from Orange Tip who had been told by Tassel who had seen Kachine. He was on his way home to her… well to find her anyway. Home was whatever dell or meadow they stopped in for the night. Kachine rarely stayed in one place. She liked to move about, much the same as himself. Loki had always felt a sort of itch, a constant yearning to be on the move and to see places he had never seen before. It set his feet to moving with a pull that could not be denied. He was happiest when he traveled so the itch was less of a burden and more of a way of life. He did not mind it and in fact rarely thought of it unless he s=found reason to stay rooted to the same place a little too long. Often though Kachine had never professed it, Loki thought that she felt the same sort of need to move about. Quite often they went their separate ways – why cause a fight when one didn’t want to venture in the same direction as the other? – but always managed to find each other several times a year. Beside that Loki always tried to be present for a foaling and usually stayed for a few months after to help out when the foal was young and in need of the most attention. This particular pregnancy of kachine’s might be or might not be the product of his seed. It was often that way on Alma’s Back. A stallion never knew until he saw the offspring himself. This time Kachine and he had parted ways some months ago. To him, it hardly mattered whether the foal was his – Alma knew he had enough young ones running about and likely a dozen or so more he had no idea of - he would love it as if it were his own. In many ways the foal would be his for Loki would often be about. It was rather unlikely that the foal would ever see its true sire if it were indeed the get of another. He never judged the Blue striped mare for dancing with another in his absence. She certainly never had said anything about any of his well known trysts other than to comment on the merit or features of the resulting offspring. It was the way of the Free Folk and perfectly natural that one should look for comfort when their loved one was gone. It had absolutely nothing to do with the love they felt for each other. Loki certainly would never choose another mare in Kachine’s presence the same as she would never dance with another stallion in his. What was done in the absence of one another was of little consequence. Their love endured. He smiled as he thought of the many hued mare with coat colors so similar to his own. They had met in foal hood, though Loki had been a bit older. She had been a bossy little thing then and great fun to tease. Who would have thought that the same temperamental filly and the fun loving colt would have grown old together? Certainly not Loki… He’d never had any notion of settling down with any mare until he had met up with Kachine again in later years and even then it had taken time for the notion to catch hold. Truly they had grown old together. This coming spring would mark his 30th year. Many more and the foals would respectfully deem him “Elder” if they did not already do so. He shuddered a bit at the idea - He never wanted to think of himself as old! – but never broke stride.
Then with thoughts of he and Kachine as foals to inspire it, unbidden came thoughts of another mare whom he had meet too as a foal. Ka, Silver Dun mare of the Vale, his mate to whom he had unwittingly pledged to so many years ago beside the summer sea – whom by his reckoning it was time to visit again. Though he had hardly remembered her, she had never forgotten him. He understood, from careful questions asked of his dam, that she was the original source of his name when they had met in the Vale where his sire and dam had ventured in hopes of finding a healer for his twin sister. They had shared some days together at the sea side and after a storm tossed night Loki had said his goodbyes. The mare however, took offense to such things and vehemently threw in his face that they had pledged the previous night. He could not simply leave her. Loki had denied such a bonding. It was unnatural to him. He would stay with a mare if he chose – as he did Kachine – and no idly said words would hold him! Ka, though, had been resolute and chased him down… more than once. He had come to understand that while he might not see the pledge – he still denied ever taking one- as binding, she surely did. Finally he could not deny its meaning to her and in time came to accept it in his own way. She returned to the Vale and never took another lover. He visited her in the Vale once or Twice every few years as he felt was his duty. They even had two foals together. Once a full grown – and recently mated – filly, conceived the night of the pledge and another, a colt, just into his 6th spring. The foals were the pride of his heart, Ringdancers and warriors both and favorites among his children. He had even come to love the Silver Dun Ka in the time that he had known her. She was a wonderful mother and possessed of a sweet nature. She even understood his spirit and accepted his need to travel as no other mare born to the vale could. Ka loved him deeply but her flame paled beside the fires that Kachine inspired in his heart. Kachine was his love only and his devoted one. He would walk through a wyrm’s den just to catch a glimpse of her. Loki started up a high rise, the grasses making slight swishing sounds as they brushed his legs. All thoughts of Ka flew away on the ever present wind as Loki crested the rise and saw below him several grazing unicorns. He picked out the blue striped form of his beloved and the Blazing red body of his four year old son who had not yet left his dam’s side immediately. He had eyes only for Kachine. All others dimmed in his eyes. His heart leaped and a neigh that bubbled up from the depths of his soul burst forth. Below the mare looked up, her ears pricked in his direction. Even at this distance Loki could see her smile. Kachine, His beloved… He was home!

Thanks so much for you comments!

Your actually the second person in a rather short while to suggest that to me... Why I haven't been doing it that way I have no idea, I guess I just didn't think about the fact that I wasn't using paragraphs. My English teacher would shoot me! lol Critique dually noted and will be attended to in the future!

Thanks for the other as well. I do have a tendency to ramble on a bit. I try and break them up in to shorter sentences but sometimes I just don't have the time to sit down and really look them over. Heh besides I sorta like some of my rambles. Its my style, I suppose, even if its not universally loved. I do believe tho, that you are correct in that I need to tone them down a bit. I don't want to bore my readers to death!


I also have problems with correct punctuation, working on that as well!

I love that you picked up on the emotion in the piece, which is what I was really working to convey. I'll definitely work on the things you've mentioned! That's what we're all doing here after all isn't it? Well, that have having a ton of fun!

Loki is a current character of mine, he's still a foal right now but there's plenty of stuff for him to do! Ka Will definitely come into play, but not until sometime later. I have a few to many characters currently but once I've finished up a few Rp plots a few of my characters will go into retirement or on hiatus in order to bring her out. There's actually a post about them, Ka and Loki (where the idea for Ka first came from) on the summer writing prompt's viewtopic.php?f=24&t=680 It should give you a bit more insight into Loki's personality too.

Do expect more from me about Loki! he is my muse and the total love of my life. There will definitely be more random writing from me on him. Ka is likely to be involved and probably Kachine too. And just so you know *shifty eyes "shh"* there are some Ka & Loki foal design floating about.